A day We Will Never Forget

As I was mixing my cayenne pepper oil. Random thoughts were going through my head. The lost we have recently experienced in Conneticut weighs very heavy on my heart. I feel like I can't move. This feeling of empathy that so many are experiencing right now shows how we are all one. This can happen to anyone of us and we should care and treat each other with respect. How can someone take away a precious gift that God has given to us? How can someone look into the eyes of a child and pull the trigger? I know that person was sick cause clearly that is something that a normal person wouldn't do. As a God loving person in the name of Yeshua something inside me says that we must not judge that person. But how can we look pass the depravity of this act and still love him as our own brother. I feel like he couldn't be one of ours or he was deeply afflicted by demons that led him to his demise taking precious lives with him. Right now it's a sad sad time. I feel like a is paying a hefty price in the after world. He may have escaped prosecution in the physical world, but the punishment he will have to endure now is forever and much great. Rest in Peace Gods little children, he has called you home early.

Natural Remedy For Dark Armpits

I was thinking that it would be a good idea to share a remedy on how to get rid of unsightly dark under arms.  So first let's look at the causes.

• Tight fitted clothes
• Dead skin build up
• flabby saggy arms
• improper washing
• hair removal creams
• excessive use of deodorants
• bacterial infection
• dead skin buildup
• shaving

I didn't want to go into any details on the causes because regardless how they got that way, we just want to get rid of it right?  Here is something sweet, well sour and simple :)

Lemons!  After washing just rub a slice of lemon under your arms everyday until they are lightened up to your satisfaction. Viola!

Beautiful underarms naturally in no time, without the use of harsh chemical lighters, whiteners, or skin bleach.  They also make a good deodorant too.  They won't make you stop perspiring but they will kill nasty odor causing bacteria.

What's Good Hair Products

Shampoos and Conditioners

 Preferably sulfate free is the best way to go. Here is a my recommendations for high quality sulfate free shampoo and conditioners.

Thermal treatment for natural hair

For those with natural hair and like to wear it straightened, it's very important to protected your hair as much as possible.  I highly recommend these great products following a prepoo, which you can follow my method at my prepoo method post.  These products are great for protecting, smoothing and retaining hair growth, thus promoting hair growth.  

For the free and natural look

For those times when you just want to go natural whether it be in a pony tail or just free and natural. I highly recommend natural to moisturize and a sealer to lock in moisture.  I highly recommend these products.

with the natural oils, feel free to explore what your hair likes.  There are many different great natural oils to chose from that will truly benefit your hair.  I like natural products over all.  But I also go with what works.  But most of all I will always use a natural oil as a base, whether it in a prepoo, deep condition, or hot oil treatment.  I always nourish my hair by feeding it with what it needs, so in turn my hair will always give me back what I want. 

Bigen Hair Dye Horror!

Like so many, the thought of just adding water to Bigen hair dye gave me the impression that it just had to be "healthier" for my hair. I thought it was all natural and the best solution for covering my premature grays before thoroughly researching it. My hair was bra strap length at the time and I wanted shiny jet black hair. So what I did was the worst thing any body could ever do to their hair, I left the bijen on over night… tss tss tss. Gradually my hair started shedding and shedding. Meanwhile, since I had just had a baby, I thought it was the hormones. My hair was piling up in the sink like a hay stack. You could literally see through my hair to my scalp. I would be sitting there watching television and I could literally feel strands pop from my scalp. Slowly and slowly I was beginning to feel depressed, unsure what was happening. I looked up everything including thyroid conditions, but failed to look up this dye! Finally after being fed up and desperate, I looked up bijen dye and low and behold… I discovered my culprit. Bijen dye is loaded with heavy metals. Although the instruction say to just add water which is much more attractive then the ones you add peroxide to, this dye is much more harmful than the peroxide dye and bleaching combined.

I found many complaints after complaints on this dye. Also I have to say that this is not natural henna. I have talked about natural henna in my other posts. Natural henna comes purely from a plant. Bigen is advertised as being a henna dye but the hair industry has become very deceitful. Like when they sell human hair blend. Anytime it says premium quality human hair, it's a blend. Okay moving on. I go to this forum quite often they have a good thread on Bigen hair dye http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=582903.

I wish I could find the article from a few years where the girl's face had swollen up beyond recognition. Well if I find it I will post it here.

So anyway that was then for me, and it took a lot for me to recover from that episode physically and emotionally. Although my hair is no where near the length that it was, at least it's 100% more healthier, now all it has to do is grow. I like to always keep in mind that it's only hair and hair grows back.

Are African Head Wraps Sexy?

I know I've mentioned in a recent post about how transitioning hair styles are not appealing or attractive by far.  In case many of you don't know what transitioning hair styles are, the photos below is one of them.  Very common around here where I live.

I call these the bush bitch look.  Sorry that's mean, sorry I really am.

Here in America decades ago we invented straightening combs and relaxers.  So I feel offended by these unattractive slave hair style" singing negro spiritual "Waning in the Water" til your hair grows back. Taking us back 200 years.

 I was talking to this lady while our kids were in the gym. She is from West Africa. Senegal to be exact. It was funny cause down a few seats from me, there was a lady with this afro puff on top of her head.

Yes I had to snap a photo.

This lady from Senegal was explaining to me that women in Africa don't walk around like they do here in the states. They have a more elegant presentation in public. She said, "the ladies are lazy by the head here". I laughed because I could not agree more. We were talking about having pride and holding our heads up high in admiration. Not with a "I don't give a care" attitude, that many women display here. By showing respect for yourself and your appearance, lets others see that and respect us as well.  That also goes far beyond appearance, our attitudes too. And we wonder why other races don't mess with us hardly. Sometimes it has nothing to do with them being prejudice, but a lot about the way they see us conduct ourselves. What we need to also realize, is that little stupid things like this affect us as a whole  and it's sad cause we can't even stick together. That's a whole other topic. So for now in this post I need to stick with hair. The women with these head wraps in these photos, to me represent a queen and someone that demands respect from anyone she encounters. So it's not a question of being sexy, it's a matter of showing integrity and dignity for oneself enough to care about what others thinks.  The styles in the pictures below is a beautiful way to transition and you don't have a stress about your hair because you don't have to worry about anyone seeing what's underneath.  That's a secret between you and God. 

Natural Hair Does Not Have To Be Naptural Hair.

I know this post is going to offend some people, but I believe by my saying this I am doing some of the men a favor.  For the husband's mainly. The ones that decided to go natural without transitioning.  You know the one I'm talking about.  The one that decided to walk around all day with that mini fro and that band going around their hend to make a statement- to let everyone know they are going natural.  That is UGLY!  And to all the men particularly the husbands that have to stand by their wives while they do this.  I have to say sorry to the husbands because they have to say "that is my wife!". I see this around the city and when I am in the store and I see one of these heads walk by me a I see the look on husband's face as I look at her head.  I don't wanna laugh, I almost want to cry.  Because ladies!! Who said this was cute?  And forget saying, "I don't care what people think".  Well you should. Cause although we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, image says a lot about a person with out conversation.  So what, that it's merely based on assumption but that's just the way it is, and the way it will always be.  That's our nature.  To the women walking around looking like(excuse my language) bush bitches, you know there is a more civilized approach to going natural.  So stop being lazy and braid that stuff up if you are doing to big chop with 1 1/2 inch hair left on your head.  That's why it is a good idea to learn how to braid your own hair, if you don't have the funds to get your hair done.  It takes practice but you'll get better.  It's good if you have little girls.  You can practice on them so you should get good real fast.  I know people that know how to braid but don't like to and they don't need to.  This on the other hand...well, these pictures say it all.

I'll just say this is interesting.  I'm not a fan of it.

On the other hand it does take growth retention starting from that point to get to this.

As you can see it doesn't have anything to do with hair type.  You can have the length you desire, as long as you take care of your ends to retain what you grow.  

My Prepoo Method

Everyone has their own system when it comes to their hair. After all I'm a strong believer in finding something that works for you and going with that. I like to do what my hair likes and what makes my hair feel good cause I know the results are rewarding. My hair is happy, I am happy, we both compliment each other.

My first step- is sectioning my hair with 5 ponytail scrunchies. I like to always use the yarn scrunchies. They help my hair grow by adding the right amount of tension and by not tangling it to aid in growth retention. That's why I always keep those around.

My second step- is to take each section at a time and starting from roots apply the extra virgin olive oil to the scalp working it to the ends. I usually just put 1 cup of olive oil in a cup and dip fingers in cup. Make sure you don't wear important attire, it can get messy.

My third step is to massage the scalp and hair.

The final step- is putting the plastic cap on sitting under a bonnet hair dryer for 15 minutes or you can chose to just leave cap on for a couple of hours with heat. It's up to you. Then shampoo, condition, and style as usual.


As you begin to take really good care of your hair, you begin to learn different ways of caring for it which works best for your hair. Oh and another thing, you can use any oil that you desire.  Another one of my favorites for prepooing is coconut oil.

Hair Pulling Disaster

Trichotillomania is a  condition brought to my attention one night on a television show about unusual habits but then, I came across a client that did the same thing to her own hair.  I was traumatized after that, I mean her whole demeanor was odd and to top it off I had to come up with a way to hide this hideous sight.  I did it with a sew in and a net.  I was repulsed because as much as we try our hardest to grow our hair and retain length.  Why would a "sista" do this? I mean how could she?  I don't know what's going on in her head but I feel sorry for her husband to have to endure this with her.  I know that is a harsh statement but that's how I feel about it, she is a grown woman and should know better. 

Also there is another condition sometimes associated with hair pulling, and that is the Rapunzel Syndrome.  And yes that is the medical term for it.  It's when the person pulls out their hair and eats it.  Yeah I know what you are thinking, I thought that same thing.  First I was like ohhhkay, then I was like, what harm can that do?  Children with long hair like to put their hair in their mouth all the time.  But please dont let your child do this unless you want to in up with a kid with a big hair ball in her gut that has to be surgically removed. Because we can not digest hair, hince the cat's hair ball.  Just saying cause it can happen and it is usually an unsuspected culprit.  Poor kid would be suffering through a battery of tests before they find out what the mass in their tummy is.   

How to Make Shea Butter Olive Oil Lotion with Coconut Oil

Yesterday I made my babies and I some shea nut butter and olive oil lotion because we ran out again! I've been making this for years.  I don't buy lotion for moisturizing, however, I do buy smell good lotions for scent only.  The shea and olive lotion that I make smells nice,  it has a nutty smell, but who wants to smell like that all the time right?  Gotta switch it up, gotta smell nice.  For  nourishing however, I choose to use coconut oil and the lotion I make with shea nut butter and olive oil.  I also call it my "concoction" or "potion".  Any way I made this video here to show how I make my to lotion potion or concoction lol.  If you have any questions feel free to comment at the end of this post. 

What's Good Hair Oil

photo credits to www.flickr.com

    When it comes to your hair, along side of water, oil is essential and a vital element to the life of your hair.  Hair calls for certain oils at certain times.  It's important to get to know your hair.  I say develop a relationship with your hair, get to know your hair and it's needs..  

I came up with a list of oils to better help you decide on choosing the best oils for your hair.  It's not uncommon for totally different hair type to use the same kind of oil.  All natural oil have certain nutrients, some oils have different uses than others.

Let's have a look.

Jaborandi Oil-  This one is my favorite.  It's not popular in the states just as some of the other oils I am going to list here.  Jaborandi benefits in preventing baldness( some of you men might want to order some of this) and preventing premature graying and hair fall.  This herbal shrub is native to the Amazon forest and has greyish colored leaves. It has a smooth texture and bears reddish colored flowers. Jaborandi oil is popular in Brazil and is an active ingredient in many Brazilian hair care products.

Coconut Oil-  Ah the coconut...I always have this oil at my house.  I use this for the skin and hair.  It provides great moisture to the hair with high luster without the greasiness.  It's a very light oil and is possibly the only oil that penetrates deep into the hair shaft.  It can also be used as a conditioner, and hot oil treatment as well. 

Shea Nut Butter-  I know this one is not known as an oil but it's a good sealer and is great for taming those wild edges.  Just rub a desired amount between the palms and smooth onto your edges all around and then put on a silk or satin scarf until ready to go or even wear to bed.

What I like to do with this is make a concoction with extra virgin olive oil, which breaks down with butter making is smooth an easy to apply to hair and skin.  With the added extra virgin olive oil it's make for even greater added nutrients for the skin and hair, try adding some coconut oil to it as well.

Almond Oil-  Nourishes your hair and if you are seeking an effective treatment for hair loss and dandruff, sweet almond oil will help improve hair growth. Almond oil contains saturated triglycerides and magnesium that help nourish the hair.

Olive Oil-  keeping a bottle of olive oil handy in your bathroom can help your hair look healthier, stronger and shinier. Whether you use it as your regular conditioner, a hot oil treatment or as a hair finishing product, you'll see the great benefits of olive oil on hair.

Avocado Oil-  The use of avocado oil for hair is among the best hair oils that you could possibly utilize for hair growth and hair nourishment.  Many have gained significant benefits from using avocado oil as a conditioner. To prepare this conditioner, you require beer and organic avocado oil. Mix these two ingredients together and once you have shampooed your hair, you can apply this mixture. Rinse with warm or lukewarm water after five minutes.

Jojoba Oil-  Jojoba oil has been used by Native Americans for centuries, Jojoba oil is very similar in molecular structure to sebum, the natural oil your scalp produces. Using jojoba shampoo is an excellent solution for people who have dry or damaged hair. 

Argan Oil- I love this way this oil smells, this oil is very expensive due the high market demands and limited supply.  Also due to Argan oil’s benefits for healthy hair, it is often called liquid gold by beauty experts. It gives new life to dry, tangled and flyaway hair. It has properties similar to those of Jojoba Oil which is extracted out of shrubs in United States. However it has surpassed Jojoba oil in fame for hair treatment because of the excellent results.

Rosemary Oil-  promotes healthy hair growth. One of the important properties is its stimulating effect. The use of this oil on the hair and scalp helps stimulate blood circulation in the scalp and thus promotes healthy hair growth. It is light in texture and therefore, does not clog the pores in the scalp that may retard hair growth. It is used along with other essential oils and a base oil to enhance its effects.

Peppermint Oil-  An oily scalp produces excess oil which is then distributed throughout the hair; that creates greasy, oiled hair. Peppermint oil eliminates this problem and makes the appearance of greasy,

because of its PH balancing qualities, peppermint oil can also be used to treat the opposite problem: dry scalp and dandruff.  Peppermint oil is routinely paired with carrier oils such as almond, castor or olive oil.  It also stimulates your hair follicles and promotes hair growth.  Peppermint oil has a fantastic, cool smell that will leave your scalp and hair feeling fresh and clean throughout the day.

Castor Oil-  This one I use every other day as well.  I love it! And here is why,

Stimulates Hair Growth:

When it comes to hair growth castor oil is really good. When you massage with castor oil it stimulate the hair follicles leading to new and faster hair growth. Also as this oil gets easily absorbed by the scalp, it helps hair follicles to grow additional hair.

Conditions Scalp:

Regular use of castor oil also conditions the scalp and hair. Well conditioned hair means healthier hair and better texture. Healthy hair strands appear thicker as compared to unhealthy hair strands. This hair oil must be used by those having thin hair.

Strengthens Hair:

Each and every hair strand becomes stronger with the regular application of castor oil. Stronger hair stays in the follicle for a longer period of time. Thus, there will be less hair breakage and hair loss. Broken hair strands can make hair appear thinner but with castor oil you will not be facing any such problem.

Prevents Hair Loss:

Due to the anti-bacterial and anti-fungicidal properties of ricinoleic acid available in castor oil it also helps in preventing hair loss. When you apply castor oil on to your scalp it protects the scalp and hair from infections that can cause hair loss.

Solves Dryness:

The omega-9 fatty acids available in castor oil keep the hair well moisturized and nourishes. It also prevents the scalp from becoming too dry. Regular application of castor oil to your scalp and roots will make dry hair soft and shiny within months. Dry scalp is one of the many reasons behind hair loss and other hair related problems.

Solves Dandruff Problem:

When you apply castor oil onto your scalp it cleanses the scalp thoroughly without leaving any trace of dry flakes. It removes the dirt and bacteria that clog the pores that often become the reason behind dandruff and hair fall. Dandruff is also caused by too much sebum production in your scalp that can be easily controlled by the anti-bacterial property of castor oil. 

Cure Scalp Infections:

The healing properties of castor oil can be used to cure scalp infections and other side effects caused due to various chemical treatments. This oil will prevent your hair from becoming brittle and will promote healthy hair growth.

Acts as Lubricant:

Castor oil also works quite effectively as a lubricant for the hair. Natural lubricants produced by our body often do not reach the hair roots. Castor oil helps to maintain a healthy level of lubrication on hair and assists in keeping hair from getting tangled.

Brings Shine to Hair:

As castor oil is humectants in nature it helps in maintaining the moisture level of hair. When hair is well moisturized it will become soft, shiny and strong. It also helps in helps in curing damaged, frizzy and split ends hair.

Stops Graying Hair:

When your hair is treated with castor oil regularly, you can get rid of premature graying of hair. After massaging the scalp regularly with the oil, the color of hair will become darker and there will be no trace of gray hair.
Well, castor oil is versatile as it can solve different hair problems. It can solve simple hair problems like frizzy locks, dandruff, or split ends along with serious hair problems such as excessive hair loss and damaged locks.

My hair doesn't make me, I make my hair!

I believe women are more sensitive about their hair than any other part of their body. I remember getting teased by the little white girls when I would wear my hair down at school because it would puff up, and also being teased by members of my family from my dads side, they are half Asian and have super wavy thick hair. I have always had thick hair but learned at a very young age that it just wasn't good..enough. What I know now is, I have beautiful hair! I think people are very uneducated when It comes to kinky or Afro texture hair. As I have stated in previous posts, Afro kinky hair need extra TLC. It needs to be handled delicately from the ends to achieve longer lengths. Otherwise we tear up our ends and that's why it may seem to never grow. Is that so difficult to comprehend? So when you are rushing out of the house to drop off the kids to school, DO NOT RUSH COMB YOUR HAIR! Just throw it in a bun, knit cap, bonnet, or scarf until you return and can take your time.
I can't count how many lady's hair I have done that wishes they can stop wearing weaves. They can! if they really want to- that is. But unfortunately some people do not have the self discipline, the know how, or even know where to start. What keeps me from putting someone else's hair on my head is the thought that it came from someone else's head- Booyow!! Also  no telling what can of spirit that person had or even bugs! I don't care that they treated it! I like the feel of my own hair growing out of my head. I like to be free, and this goes with my free spirit. I want my man to be able to adore my hair just as much as I do, and run his fingers through it from the scalp. Oh and ladies, if you have never gotten a scalp massage from your man, you're missing out! I also believe that healthy long locks on a sistas head opens her up to a better quality of life. Think about it! More positivity flows your way, that means compliments and smiles which leads to confidence and becoming more outgoing and meeting different interesting people and it goes on and on.

I don't know about you, but I never felt comfortable wearing a weave. I always felt like they know me as the girl that doesn't have any hair lol or "that's not her hair" they would be debating amongst themselves. I know many women think and say,"I don't care what any body think" and that's good to a degree. You really should care what other people think.. pretty muuuch! ( in my country twang voice) especially if you deal with people. You just don't have always do what other people think. Taking into consideration about image is important. Many people judge based on appearance, yeah it's not always right but that's the way it is. Which leads me to my next post....

Self Hair Hate..

I knew this topic would be sensitive to some women, but I decided to go there anyway.  The term "self hair hate" is something that I decided to use to describe the way some women feel about their own hair.  They are not who they really are without someone else's hair on their head.  I see it all the time.  Women acting brand new after they get a fresh weave. They literally became a different person.  It's to the point that people don't even really know who they are not to mention not even really knowing them self.  I say not knowing, because for example, she takes her wig/ weave off and goes to put it right back on as soon possible neglecting her own hair (self).  She doesn't like her self because she doesn't know her self(hair).  What I have grown to realize, is we can do sooo much with our hair.  Most women are surprised to learn the potential their hair has.  It's about convenience.   What it comes down to is the media and what it portrays women as and what they should look like.  Subliminally the media is saying a lot, but consciously one would second guess the thought and even deny that this is even happening when deep down many are hypnotic by the media.

I don't consider celebrities self haters. They are entertainers, that's what they do.  

 

 

  .

I like this one, Shaq is too funny!!  Yet again a celebrity

 but this.... on the other hand

I don't get it... Is that suppose to be cute?

why blond tho?

Get YOUR hair right.  A real man that is giving you 100% himself don't mind the weave (may hate the wig) and is going to eventually want to see the real you.  So while you are false advertising and thinking you are winning a man many women en up losing a man.  You can't get upset when he finally sees the truth that you failed to reveal in the first place, and then his eyes begin to wonder.   Then the guy always looks like the bad guy, when clearly he has a case "she falsely advertised!"  The girl always says "I caught him cheating" or "he started tripping".  Why don't the girl ever have an idea why he is tripping?  Maybe it's your hair?  Believe this, she may have a pretty weave but if he meet some one with real hair that's as pretty or prettier than the weave, he's gone if this is within the first two weeks or after she take out that weave she met him with.  Usually women that meet a man with unhealthy hair with nothing else going for them in terms of looks or body wise are a hit and quit.   I'm not going to say get your body right , but yeah also take care of that the body hair lol.  Please learn how to shave the pubic area or don't shave at all and find a man that likes a bush.  Nothing says confidence better then pretty hair and pretty pubic region.  I don't care what you wear or how you accessorize it.  A good generous man would adore and cherish a woman that knows how to really take care of herself.  So take care.... and I mean that in a literal sense.

Full sew in invisible part no glue

I wanted give a some input to some of these shotty invisible parts I see around town. Some in which you can tell the operator clearly have no how idea what they are doing. As you can see in the photo of the young lady with black hair, her part is spaced out and looks unnatural. I can't imagine anyone having to walk around with this humiliation. I would say "girl your stylist did you wrong!" Although I know people have a look preference I know for a fact that this is not acceptable. No one wants to look like they have a receding part. Ladies! It's not suppose to be 2 inches apart lol! Grrr, I'm tired of seeing these bad parts around town. Okay so you only paid $40, you can tell. obviously you got your monies worth. That don't mean you have to wear it. If she only charges you 40 dollars expect to look like this. Trust me it woul be worth you stayin up to your stylist and tell her you re not going out like that and demanding a refund. If you needed your hair done for the night, and are in need of a quit do, do to bad hair stylist just take that $40 you took back from her and go get you a pony tail or half wig as a quick solution until tomorrow and have a beautiful evening at your event. Show some pride in your appearance so you can carry that confidence. Work it girl!

My Cassia Treatment

Hi yesterday I did a cassia treatment yaay! I soo need another one.  I wish I had some Amla to add to it to color my gray more.  So this is how it went.

First-

This is me before treatment.  How ever in my hair I have applied shea/ almond conditoner by suave coconut oil and castor oil prior.  I won't be washing that out. That is going to be added nutrients in my hair while applying the cassia.

Here is my cassia packs, I am using 2 1/2

It comes tightly packed

Here I added warm water till it is thick as pancake batter no no like conditioner.  Some people add honey, orange juice, lemon juice essential oils.  You can do what ever you choose.  I am down with that.  Today tho, I am just mixing it with warm water since I just washed my hair and already added my stuff directly to my hair.  I started to mix with a plastic knife but using my hand, I am able to squeeze the lumps to smooth it out.

Here is the finish product about to get it in! lol

I am just inspecting my hair checking out my grays, grrrrrr!!!  Trying to decide where I would like to apply the cassia first. 

I did use the gloves and started around my edges first, not that it even matters because the cassia doesn't really give any noticeable color.  Right here I am just doing alittle touch up on my sides.

Look I have a lot left over, my daughter wants to use it so I will place it in the refrigerator until she is ready to use it I say it can be stored for about a week in refrigerator before thrown out.

It is very messy so make sure you use a shirt I don't really care about getting mess on. 

Cleaning up around the edges

Now I leave on for 4 hours for good results.

Now For vivid color results with natural dyes, I recommend Henna, Alma, Indigo.

Henna

Alma

Indigo

Cassia( noticeable on very light blond hair only and gray)

What I find that's cool is how  people use different parts of different dyes for different color variations.


 Also you can add the Cassia for lighter versions of the other colors.  For More info on the natural dyes go here, Natural Hennas.